The Game
June 27th, 2009You can buy the book Destiny-Finding Your Way Home at Lulu.com.
How long had I been destroyed by life? The question sent shock waves of emotion throughout my entire being.
The realization that I have been destroyed by my life suddenly crashed into my reality the other night while I was in the bathtub where I soak daily, the one luxury I still allow myself that is purely for me. How does such a destruction go unnoticed for so long and how long has it been? But there I was in my nightly bathing ritual reading The Legend of Bagger Vance because I was told it is based on the Bhagavad Gita. Oh, I had read the Gita years before and it was life altering at that time. But this story about the game of golf irrevocably moved my reality to the awareness of my state of destruction. I sobbed as I finished reading the rest of the story.
I had the definite longing to hit golf balls while at the same time being profoundly aware of how long it had been since I have enjoyed a golf course, my clubs gathering cobwebs in the garage. When I dripped my way from the tub, to the towel, to the toothbrush, to the bed, it was like I was moving beyond those cobwebs that had become me and found a phoenix arising now from my ashes.
I did not know what would happen nor did I care and so I slept like a baby who knows nothing about this life yet. Without fear, I arose and asked my son if he wanted to walk down to the lake. His eyes were wide when he said, “You want to walk to the lake now?” His was the first shocked look of my week-long of shocked expressions and comments about my new state of being. Obviously, I cannot see myself except through the reflections of others. I am no longer thinking. Now it is a state of continual being and it somehow transforms how I appear to others. “You look different, somehow lighter,” was how one woman commented.
The next day, I told my group at noon about the events that had been transpiring in my life and I watched as they appeared to be transfixed. This rapt attention I know with complete certainty is not the result of me. It is God reflecting through me. I feel like a child following a butterfly every second of the day right now watching the magic of life all around me and others are… entranced by that energy.
As I headed home from work in that state of bliss, I stopped by the lake to take in the wonder all around me with my therapy dog, Abby. She really loves this new state of being as it involves trips to her favorite spots in life. She is a natural at the Game. We got out of the car and there on the banks of the lake, an exotic appearing man was patiently pulling at a fishing line in the water, rod almost bent in half. Simultaneously, I thought of Yoda and the Karate Kid knowing that I was entering the realm of supremely mystical. He is to be my personal Bagger Vance but instead of a caddy, he is a fisherman like Christ. Today he catches me. As I walk tentatively up to him I asked, feeling sort of retarded, “Did you catch a fish?” He looked at me very patiently as he continued his task and said, “I have been battling with this for over twenty-five minutes.” At the moment he completed his sentence, the fish appeared, a monster catfish, to me it looks about two feet long and not of this world.
I thought, be still Diane, everything he says from now on is the lesson you are here to learn. “You see, I hooked him on the line that is wrapped around his pectoral fin.” Pointing at the spot on the fin, he spontaneously cut the line loose and the monster was gone. In shock I said “Oh we should have taken a picture of that fish.” I felt sort of regretful that this magnificent fish was gone in that instant. He on the other hand was on to the next moment. I was so mesmerized and still looking at the water now that I had not previously thought of a camera and now it was too late. This experience was in slow motion but moving in seconds of real time.
Appearing entirely oblivious to the prior event, he said, “Can you believe it, I actually pulled a rod out of this lake once and later I pulled out a reel. Then the next day a little handicapped boy came by on his bike and was watching me fish. He told me he wished he could fish and I suggested he ask his father to take him. He said he had no father and had no fishing pole. Well, I told him to come around tomorrow because the lake had given me that rod and reel for him. He came back and I taught him how to fish. He hands were so tiny, his fingers could barely handle it but he was having the time of his life. You never know what you will pull out of this lake.” He was grinning ear to ear with wonder.
As he completed his story, he sort of meandered on down the bank of the lake and I felt Abby tugging to run the grass. Where had she been during this event? She usually will not sit still for anything when she hits that lake area. But there she was tugging the leash and time returned to itself.
The next day, I was still awake and not only awake, I was now becoming a full blown phoenix with a voice reminding me to ignore any habitual negativity. Just play the Game. I stepped out of my garage to load Abby and my briefcase into my back seat and noticed that the sky was ominous. I am usually afraid of lightening and hurry to get inside. Today, however, I breathed in the moisture and laughed at the sky. If lightening wants to kill me, then I thought that would be hilarious and as a matter of fact, I will stop by the post office and dare it to end my life.
When I told my business partner this lightening story, she looked very frightened, not because I dared lightening to strike me but because I was an alien. “Are you a walk in?” her way of asking me if I have been possessed by another being and no longer exist as me. The truth is I am no longer the me that I was because I was destroyed. This is the me resurrected.
We were on our way to the Cellular Theta Breath Class. As soon as I closed my eyes in the meditation, I instantly saw a vision of myself fishing by the bank of a lake. I threw in my line and pulled out one of my intentions in life. I kept throwing it in over and over. Time and again, I manifested every intention I have in life and it was so much fun. I was having the time of my life.
You see, I remember that I am here to play the Game once again. I think that maybe I have been here many times and every time I come here to play the same Game, the one Game which is mine to play. I will never forget how to play it because how can you not know how to play what you are. It’s so effortless to pull out your intentions and in fact can be so much fun. Of course, you do have to agree to keep going to the lake, taking your equipment and you have to fish. And most of all, when the lightening comes, the wind blows and threatens to destroy me again, then I will remember that if I am still here when the tornado becomes a breeze, well… to play like an angel.
Aum Namah Shivaya
©D Donovan